Friday, June 27, 2008

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Please heed this warning !!


We were raised on Cadbury chocolate as kids and even into adulthood. I will never eat it again. I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any . It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.

This is what happens when you eat Cadbury chocolate!


It could happen to you, your family and friends!!

CADBURY Chocolate can cause SMALL FEET !!

Warn everyone!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Someone has just sent this through to me, and if you need a really good laugh, this should do the trick.



This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:
(Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humour columnist for the Miami Herald)

... I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenteritis, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-litre plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a litre is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humour, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another litre of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return
bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little
curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their
MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anaesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there
somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anaesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, Feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colours. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

At least someone appreciates me!

Now here's a picture of someone who I can guarantee appreciates me - even if it is to make sure he gets his 3 square meals a day!


Sent from my BlackBerry®

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Lucky lucky me!

Bought these beautiful flowers today as I absolutely love having flowers at home, and we are so so lucky as we can buy export quality roses off the street vendors for about one dollar fifty US for a dozen.

I splashed out and bought 4 bunches and my house smells gorgeous and there are roses everywhere you turn!

Sent from my BlackBerry®

Friday, June 6, 2008

What more could you ask for?

This beautiful rose is right outside outside my bedroom window.

The sun is shining bright and the weather is gorgeous ......

And, and, and, and, ...... It's Friday!


Sent from my BlackBerry®

Thursday, June 5, 2008

I'm not sure I'm cut out for 'meme's' ..

Looking through what Beth over at "Living a Quotable Life" has tagged me for, (that seemed like a smashing idea yesterday), I've decided is not really for me.

She asks for your to write down the following;
8 things for which you have a passion,
8 things you'd like to do before you die,
8 things you say a lot,
8 books you have read recently,
8 movies you've seen 8 times,
and finally 8 people who should do this meme.

I've been writing down my answers to these and I realise it's not me. I don't like this idea of 8 things - perhaps I have 88 or perhaps just the one, but to me it feels like if I write it down, that's it, it's final ...

I think it was the "8 things to do before you die" that got me. I felt if I has listed these down here, if I ever do achieve all 8 (and I fully intend to), that would give me bog all more to look forward to and I might as well launch myself off the fridge freezer and be done with it, and I don't much like that thought at the moment.

I think I'll just keep all the 8's to myself but I do hope that any 8 of you out there who fancies doing it, please go ahead and let me know.

I'm sure it's much more interesting when someone else does it anyhow.


Stunning isn't it ..... ?
- and there's my little bit of buoyancy to keep me afloat today
- Hope it does the same for you. :)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I've had a slight change of tack ...

Have been feeling a little down recently for absolutely NO reason at all I may add, as if you look at all the little bits around me, things really look like they're going quite swimmingly! And yet still I see a big picture of gloom.

My doc (who's a complete sweetie - and although she does pretend to be awfully serious and doctor like sometimes - is a good friend), says it's called 'depression'. How I see it, is that it's all a load of shite that puts up black clouds throughout fabulous days and refuses point blank to let you see through the haze and enjoy the sunshine.

I don't think it's really explainable if you haven't been down this long dark road, and it so goes against the grain this feeling sorry for yourself crap. I keep shouting;
"For Goodness Sake Woman, Get a Grip!!",
But my head doesn't respond.

Beth from "Living a Quotable Life" has tagged me for a meme, and although I've never done one before, I shall revamp this blog in its honour and I shall take a leaf out of the advice of another of my fellow bloggers, Expatmum and her comment which I have decided is an excellent plan;

" ..what about thinking of something really nice once a day, or taking a great photo like you just have? It may not totally lift your spirits but it can't hurt. Personally, I listen to great music and it helps."

Like she says - "it can't hurt", and so I'm off on a slight tangent with this blog from now on and it shall be known as "The Chick's Lifejacket".

Definition of the word 'lifejacket';
"an article of protective clothing that is designed to keep the wearer's head floating above the surface of the water."

Sounds perfect to me ....