Monday, July 7, 2008
Cricket's craziest man
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Someone has just sent this through to me, and if you need a really good laugh, this should do the trick.
WARNING: PUT DOWN YOUR COFFEE AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE HAD A WEE BEFORE YOU READ THIS .....
OR YOU JUST MIGHT REGRET IT :)
This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
I splashed out and bought 4 bunches and my house smells gorgeous and there are roses everywhere you turn!
Sent from my BlackBerry®
Friday, June 6, 2008
Thursday, June 5, 2008
She asks for your to write down the following;
8 things for which you have a passion,
8 things you'd like to do before you die,
8 things you say a lot,
8 books you have read recently,
8 movies you've seen 8 times,
and finally 8 people who should do this meme.
I've been writing down my answers to these and I realise it's not me. I don't like this idea of 8 things - perhaps I have 88 or perhaps just the one, but to me it feels like if I write it down, that's it, it's final ...
I think it was the "8 things to do before you die" that got me. I felt if I has listed these down here, if I ever do achieve all 8 (and I fully intend to), that would give me bog all more to look forward to and I might as well launch myself off the fridge freezer and be done with it, and I don't much like that thought at the moment.
I think I'll just keep all the 8's to myself but I do hope that any 8 of you out there who fancies doing it, please go ahead and let me know.
I'm sure it's much more interesting when someone else does it anyhow.
AND INSTEAD I SHALL LEAVE YOU WITH A COUPLE OF PICTURES OF THE SUNRISE ON MY MORNING DRIVE TO DROP MY SON AT SCHOOL .....
- and there's my little bit of buoyancy to keep me afloat today
- Hope it does the same for you. :)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
My doc (who's a complete sweetie - and although she does pretend to be awfully serious and doctor like sometimes - is a good friend), says it's called 'depression'. How I see it, is that it's all a load of shite that puts up black clouds throughout fabulous days and refuses point blank to let you see through the haze and enjoy the sunshine.
I don't think it's really explainable if you haven't been down this long dark road, and it so goes against the grain this feeling sorry for yourself crap. I keep shouting;
"For Goodness Sake Woman, Get a Grip!!",
But my head doesn't respond.
Beth from "Living a Quotable Life" has tagged me for a meme, and although I've never done one before, I shall revamp this blog in its honour and I shall take a leaf out of the advice of another of my fellow bloggers, Expatmum and her comment which I have decided is an excellent plan;
" ..what about thinking of something really nice once a day, or taking a great photo like you just have? It may not totally lift your spirits but it can't hurt. Personally, I listen to great music and it helps."
Like she says - "it can't hurt", and so I'm off on a slight tangent with this blog from now on and it shall be known as "The Chick's Lifejacket".
Definition of the word 'lifejacket';
"an article of protective clothing that is designed to keep the wearer's head floating above the surface of the water."
Sounds perfect to me ....
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
- as it seems they are actually still very much alive !!!
(Think it's a bit of do-it-yourself killing and plucking on this one.
Mmmmm - think I'd rather have the spinach quiche myself!~)
Monday, March 17, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
This is an actual letter from an
Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets
rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editor's
choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20
years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the
LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback
riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and
down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be
your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart
enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I
can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a
little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered
from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is
starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body
will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call
'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt
seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your
customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about
the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense
mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely
realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my
friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's
testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he
thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that
just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me
to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping
so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I
opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,
words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your
tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling,
laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything
mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it,
FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be
anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on
Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't
march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a
sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to
slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Please have a read and see if you can honestly read this article WITHOUT laughing out loud ?!?!
(Reporting by Luke Baker; Editing by Charles Dick)
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
DO NOT SWALLOW BUBBLE-GUM!
This is a warning to all of you out there about to rush out to the gym on a Monday morning - Obviously you shouldn't do it and should stay in bed for the extra hour instead, so that the rest of us won't feel guilty!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
This sign is up in the middle of one of our main roundabouts on Uhuru Highway in the centre of Nairobi, and has been there since before Christmas.
Do you think someone knew something was up already?
- otherwise why was the government offering us "Peaceful Elections" wishes back then? Surely we he had no inkling that our elections would be anything other than peaceful at the time?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
This is the cistern cover from one of the loos in one of our shops here in Nairobi. We have had three of these ceramic covers nicked can you believe, so now have come up with this smashing 'bolt your cistern cover on' design because I am absolutely fed up replacing them. It's a bit of a nightmare for our plumber but hey, he'll get over it!
Was just thinking - do you think i should patent this design and sell the idea worldwide and make myself damn rich and famous - or is this issue of rushing off with the toilet cover stuck up your jumper just peculiar to us?
(We did originally try an alarm that detected movement if the cover was lifted up, but we found this didn't work as we kept getting false alarms when people lifted the lid to wash their hands in the cistern, although please note we DO have a sink with soap and a hot air dryer, so not quite sure why people will insist on washing their hands in the cistern, but there you go!)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
How i understand it is if you would like to pee to the left, or to the right, or even perhaps behind the tree, that is probably absolutely fine but whatever you decide ...
DO NOT PEE ON THIS TREE !!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, see you across the road.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
However we are making good use of the landlord's facilities seeing as we are housebound.
This is my exact view as we speak.
It could be worse!
Happy New Year!
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